Who Would You Choose
by PimpedOutGreenEars
Summary: "So say aliens, which, by the way, aren't real, built a giant ray that turned everyone gay, and Yoshitoki and I both suddenly wanted to date you, who would you choose?" Shinji and Yutaka have a discussion about who would date if everyone was gay, leading to Shuya choosing between Nobu and Shinji, and a hypothetical relationship being formed and broken. Oneshot. Light slash, kinda.


**Who Would You Choose**

**Authors Note: Honestly, this has very little to no point, other than being kinda fun to write. I just thought it'd be a fun argument for the guys to have. Still, I'd love to hear what you think of it!**

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"Okay, you're wrong." Shinji said with a shake of his head.

"Nuh-uh! You're so crazy if you think that!" Yutaka said as he threw his arms in the air.

Shuya smiled as he heard the argument his two friends were having as he approached them from across the park with Nobu and Hiroki at his side. He had no idea what they were talking about, but with Shinji and Yutaka it could be anything.

Shuya often questioned the friendship between the two, not for reasons that Yutaka might have come up with on a day where his self-esteem was especially low, but because the two had such different interests. Really, at first glance the only thing the two shared was a similar sense of humor.

Of course after knowing the two boys for so long it became apparent that what held them together was simply the way they could talk to each other. It was something that Shuya often forgot until he witnessed it.

And he had no doubt that at the moment he was witnessing that.

To someone who didn't know Shinji and Yutaka it might seem like they were having a legitimate argument, but Shuya knew better. Shinji and Yutaka talked about everything and anything and often landed upon crazy hypothetical scenarios that they couldn't agree on and no one else wanted to be a part of. Shuya figured this was one of those.

And from the twin looks Yoshitoki and Hiroki shot him, he figured they knew too.

Shuya, Nobu, and Hiroki reached the picnic bench that Shinji and Yutaka were currently sitting on just in time to get involved in the argument.

"Shu, just the guy we needed to see." Shinji greeted with a smirk on his face.

Shuya smiled in reply, although he realized that by being singled out it meant he was part of the argument.

"Can you settle something for us?" Yutaka asked, his big brown eyes looking innocent, although Shuya could testify to that rarely being the case.

"I can try, I guess." Shuya responded as he looked to Nobu to find support, only to see a face that already looked overly amused.

"Okay," Shinji began. "So say the water was infected with something that made-"

"That's such a dumb way for it to happen." Yutaka interrupted while crossing his arms and making a face that no one had the heart to tell him looked like a pout.

Shinji turned and stared at Yutaka for a second before rolling eyes.

"Fine, we'll use your scenario." Shinji relented, before turning back to the group.

"Thank you." Yutaka said, but he seemed more proud than grateful.

"Okay," Shinji began again. "So say aliens, which, by the way, aren't real-"

"Yes they are!" Yutaka interjected, only to be ignored by Shinji for the sheer reason that they'd had the alien argument too many times.

"-built a giant ray that turned everyone gay, and Yoshitoki and I both suddenly wanted to date you, who would you pick?" Shinji finished.

Yoshitoki instantly turned red at the question, while Hiroki stared at the boys, wondering why they always came up with the weirdest questions.

"And how did you guys come up with this question?" Shuya asked while trying not to laugh. He wasn't really embarrassed by the question so much as he was amused.

"How did we?" Yutaka asked as he looked over at his taller friend.

"Good question," Shinji said as his eyebrow rose in thought. "We were talking about girls in our class-"

"Oh! And then we talked about how Kyoichi and Satomi started dating-" Yutaka mentioned before Shinji began speaking again.

"Which led to who else in our class should hookup-" Shinji said before Yutaka took over again.

"And then we talked about how we couldn't hook Sho up with anyone since he was gay-" Yutaka remembered.

"And then we tried to think of who else in the class could be gay-" Shinji recalled with a slight laugh.

"And then I said what if everyone was-" Yutaka told the three boys who hadn't been around for the conversation.

"And then we started guessing who would hook up-" Shinji explained.

"And when we got to Shuya we disagreed about who he'd pick." Yutaka finished.

"See, makes perfect sense." Shinji said casually, while Yutaka nodded his head in agreement.

"Yeah, perfect." Shuya said with a laugh.

"When can we hear your theories of which guys should date?" Nobu asked, thinking the whole thing was ridiculous, but pretty funny. Even Hiroki was smiling and struggling not to laugh.

"As soon as Shu answers the question. Would you pick me or Nobu?" Shinji answered, the group once again turning its attention upon Shuya.

"Who do you guys think I would pick?" Shuya asked.

Yutaka looked like he was about to answer, but Shinji quickly covered his mouth with his left hand.

"Doesn't matter. We don't want a biased answered." Shinji answered before uncovering Yutaka's mouth.

Yutaka only nodded in agreement, not seeing to mind that Shinji felt a need to shove a hand in his face.

"Okay, fine," Shuya replied with a nod as he decided to humor his friends by actually thinking about the question. "So in this scenario you and Nobu are both trying to date me?"

"Yep." Shinji answered.

"Alright, but if you guys are gay, do you act the same way around me that you do girls you try to date?" Shuya asked.

"Example?" Shinji asked, not sure exactly where Shuya was going.

"Okay, like, are you still a player? Do you just want to date me because I'm hot?" Shuya asked.

Hiroki seemed to nod as though it was a good question, which only went to show how interesting the question had actually become.

"Hmm, okay. I'd probably say yes. How we act with girls would probably carry over." Shinji answered.

"Nope, I disagree." Yutaka said with a head shake.

"Okay, logic behind it?" Shinji asked with a smile as though he really was interested to hear Yutaka's point.

"Alright, when you date a girl because she's hot, she isn't your friend and you usually don't respect her. No offence," Yutaka added, to which Shinji just motioned for him to continue. "But Shuya is your friend and you respect him so it's way more likely that if you were trying to date him, that you'd actually like him."

"Huh, good point Yutaka." Nobu said with a nod.

The group then looked to Shinji to see what the new ruling was.

"Okay, Yutaka does have a nice point," Shinji agreed as he gave Yutaka a light pat on the back. "I guess you're taking a risk if you choose to date me because maybe I just want in your pants, or maybe I really like you."

"That's fair," Yutaka agreed. "So who would you choose?"

"You guys said everyone was gay, right?" Shuya questioned.

"Yep, everyone. Every man, woman, and child, and every higher up in the government." Shinji replied with a smirk.

"So, for example, in this scenario Hiroki and Yutaka are gay too?" Shuya asked, hoping for clarification.

"Yeah, Yutaka, Hiroki, our whole class. Everyone Shu." Shinji answered with a look that seemed to suggest that he just didn't think Shuya was getting it.

"Okay, so then why do I have to choose between you and Nobu?" Shuya asked, making Nobu and Hiroki laugh.

"Because we're the ones that like you." Shinji replied with a shrug.

"But if gay us correspond with straight us it would make sense that a lot of guys like me since a lot of girls do." Shuya pointed out.

"Shit, that's a good point." Yutaka said as he looked up to Shinji for an answer.

"So what? What guy in the class would you rather hypothetically date than one of us?" Shinji asked with a wink.

"I just want to keep my options open." Shuya said with a shrug.

"Okay, fine. Other guys in the class like you." Shinji agreed.

"Which ones?" Shuya asked. "Do Yutaka and Hiroki get to be involved?"

"No, they don't like you." Shinji answered.

"Why?" Shuya asked, really beginning to find the whole thing funny.

"Because Hiroki's too busy brooding about being gay to like you." Yutaka throws out, which causes everyone to laugh except for the boy in question.

"And Yutaka just doesn't, okay?" Shinji asks, hoping that they can move on.

"Alright, fine. Neither of them likes me, but who does? Who are my other options?" Shuya asked and it was obvious by his tone of voice that he was only dragging it out to be funny.

Shinji and Yutaka look at each other for a few seconds before Shinji begins speaking.

"Well, obviously Tatsumichi Oki is attracted to you for your athletic skills." Shinji decided.

"And Ryuhei Sasagawa thinks it'd be hot to be with someone so innocent." Yutaka added cheekily.

"Yoji Kuramoto wants to be with you forever. He's looking for a serious commitment now, Shu." Shinji said with a smile.

"And of course Toshinori Oda is secretly in love with you, but he thinks the only way you'll ever notice him is if he berates your choice of instrument." Yutaka said, causing Shinji to start laughing.

Once his laughter was over, Shinji looked at Shuya.

"Alright, those are your options lover boy. Who's it gonna be?" Shinji asked.

"You know, you actually gave me some good options with Oki and Kuramoto, but I think you're right Mim. My choice is really down to you and Yoshitoki." Shuya replied with a grin on his face.

"Big surprise." Yutaka said with a smile on his face.

"Hmm," Shuya hummed as he pretended to think about it. "This really is a tough one, but I think I have to pick Yoshitoki."

"Final answer?" Shinji asked as Yutaka leaned forward in his seat.

"Final answer." Shuya said firmly as he threw an arm jokingly around Yoshitoki, who only rolled his eyes.

"Told you," Shinji said smugly as he turned to face Yutaka. "He's too sentimental for best friend love to not trump love from a stud."

"Shuya, why?" Yutaka whined as he put his head down on the picnic table. Shinji laughed as he rubbed his friends back in a comforting manner even though he was partially the reason for Yutaka's state.

"Well, there's what Mim said, but really I did it for you." Shinji said with a grin as Yutaka rose back up to look at him in confusion. "I mean, obviously, if you didn't have a crush on me, hypothetically, you had to have one on Shinji, and I would never date a guy if you liked him too."

"Are you kidding me?" Yutaka asked with a glare, although Yutaka obviously wasn't mad.

"Nope. Now you guys can hypothetically be together." Shuya answered, causing the group around him to laugh.

"Great, I can be a rebound. How long would we last, a week?" Yutaka asked looking at Shinji.

"I don't know? Are you gonna put out?" Shinji asked.

"In a week?" Yutaka asked, sounded offended.

"Well, I could wait a little longer if I had to." Shinji replied with a shrug.

"Like how long?" Yutaka asked.

"I don't know. Two, three weeks." Shinji threw out with an amused look in his eyes.

With that Yutaka stood up and slammed his hands down on the picnic table.

"You, Shinji Mimura, are a pig, and I'm hypothetically breaking up with you." Yutaka announced before he began walking away.

"What?! You can't do that! Get back here!" Shinji yelled dramatically as he stood up.

"Never! Never again!" Yutaka yelled back just as dramatically, and by then it was very obvious that both boys were joking and having a good time doing it.

"Damn it, Yutaka, don't make me hypothetically seduce you back into my arms!" Shinji yelled.

"You couldn't if you hypothetically tried! That's how hypothetically done with you I am!" Yutaka shouted back, his eyes gleaming with humor and mischief.

Shinji smirked as he turned to look at his three remaining friends.

"I think I've just been hypothetically challenged," Shinji said before he began his trek after Yutaka. "Don't you run away from me!"

There was no doubt that the conversation that would follow between the two boys would be one that only they could follow.

Nobu and Hiroki both turned to Shuya, but it was Nobu who finally spoke.

"What just happened?"

"I think I just hypothetically hooked up Shinji and Yutaka." Shuya said with a grin as they watched Shinji yell after Yutaka.

"We're going to be late for the movie." Hiroki said, reminding Shuya and Nobu why they were meeting Shinji and Yutaka in the park in the first place.

"Nah, they're heading that way," Shuya said with a grin as he put his arm over Yoshitoki's shoulders. "And, hey, Hiroki, maybe we'll find a guy for you on the way."

Hiroki immediately turned red from the comment, as Shuya laughed. Nobu, on the other hand, only shook his head as he pulled himself away from Shuya.

"Let's just see the movie before this gets any weirder." Nobu joked as the three boys started jogging to catch up with Shinji and Yutaka.


End file.
